You did same mistake, you fell to the same valley

I am sitting on my desk. I just did my task. I dont know what to do exept writing on my blog. I guess i have found my interest in writing article. It is not bad at all.
Hahhhh, what the heck I wanna write? Sorry guys if you are visiting my blog and dont find any fun. But, i'll try to make you comfort like you have some tea and cookies were made by me. :p.

Guys, as a title article above, I wanna share experience. Sorry, it's unpleaseant experience but i need you to take the moral of my story.

The story is gonna be
"My Senior High School moments do not go well".

I never expected it is gonna be like this. I regret why i did the same mistakes over and over again? Why i fall in the same valley which feels hurt a lot? Will I experience this situation in after I graduate from here? Oh, Allah.. Do not let it be just because of my stupidity. It is not only harm my parents's fee, but also my self, my future, my self-esteem, and especially my environment in school. I wont tell my friends are bad. They are good in different way anyhow.
Uh, how could i arrange in word what i am feeling? I dont want you get me wrong about you think of me. Okay this is my fault why I study in my school right here. It is my mistake why I feel that my science are not improved. It is my fault also why I suffer (ouch, too exagratting) but yeah I do.

What I want to say is do not repeat the same mistakes. It is gonna kill you when you feel it. I mean, everyone can make mistake. Nobody's perfect. But, please do not create a mistake that you have experienced before. Make another mistake so you can learn from your fault.

I have thought to get in favorite senior high was simple. But it's not at all! I just watched a lot of movies and didnt study to repair my "rapot" at that time. Calm down is good. But, i am over at calming down which makes me do not care of my future! When National Exam came up on few days, I didn't study hard. Watching movies, sleeping, omegling, skyping were my routine activities! As a result of them, I got baaaaadddd score in my final education in Junior High. I've broken my father's hope either my mom. I cried a lot. I messed up. I didn't know what I should do. I have been planted his and her hope to make theirs come true, but I broke it. They were not angry with me, but I did know completely that they had been dissapointed by my self!.

Today, I realize. If you are going to have your own dream comes true, ya you must try it harder and harder. What if you are fail? I am always brought up by my bapak that:

" the best lesson in your wonderland is learn from your failure". It means you ought to rise up when you fall down which makes you stronger.
 
Keep practicing on it as you can. I don't intend you to forget who Created you. Yeah, ask to The God. A relationship with God is the best way to solve your problem.

I pull my word to tell you my experience to y'all,:p. I am going to tell you later. After I graduate, perhaps. :l

Today was pleasing day
Everyone doesnt know how it was feeling
I merely am

You would know what it was?
I learnt a different lesson
Sincererity
Huh, "what else did you study?"
Eyes
Those eyes taught me well
It shone like sunset
Warm, but also hot
Unfortunately, his not stare at me
A girl who sit acroos him

Oh, "it felt hurt?"
Can i be honest?
Hahaa, n.... It hurt but not much
"What a hypocrite"
Well, like i said before. You guys dont know the feeling
I said like that because i wont dare to talk or do anything what i like in front of him anymore.

One more, I learnt freedom.

#maaf kalau tidak jelas.
Have a good day.

Hari ini aku marah besar
Besarnya melebihi badan Ibu kost ku
Semua nama binatang
Keluar dari bibir ku yang lapar
Mulai dari Gorilla, T-rex, Kecoak, Ananconda, Bekicot

Kamu tanya kenapa Anjing dan Babi tidak kusebutkan
Anjing binatang setia. kamu tidak.
Babi tidak ku sebutkan
Karena pork ribs terlalu mewah untuk disadingkan dengan dirimu.

Menurut artikel yang kubaca pagi ini, ubur-ubur adalah hewan yang paling pantas untukmu. Hewan itu bisa hidup dalam kondisi apapun, bahkan kekal.
Aku tidak berharap sih jika dunia ini hancur,
semua populasinya punah,
tidak ada satupun mahluk,
membiarkan mu sendiri.
Kesepian.
Karena aku cukup paham rasa saat ditinggalkan.


Kamu? Ia mahluk jahat. Ku akui betul.

# I got this poet from ask.fm. it's shared by kak Zikoji. I changed a little of it and improved as like I made it. Thanks for reading.